I have a story from last night which I find rather amusing. I think it's worth sharing with the whole wide internet (or at least my blogger followers, 0 people!)
Last night my friend and I, lacking anything better to do, decided to drive around and find somewhere to eat. We settled pretty quickly on a restaurant called Tin Drum located in our local outdoor suburban mega-retail center called The Avenues, a well established meeting point for just about every 16 year old girl and 18 year old redneck boy with a lifted truck in the county. We quickly got some dinner, (Teriyaki stir-fry for me. I'm eating the rest of it now and it's awesome) and decided to dick around the Barnes and Nobel until it closed. \
On our way back to the car we crossed paths with some of the local fair who inhabit the Avenues parking lot after dark, five highschool boys in cutoff t-shirts sitting in the back of a lifted truck and their collective fifteen-year-old girlfriend. As we passed them they gave a cat call and shouted "heya fag boys."
Usually I would just ignore them but for some reason last night I was not in my "ignore the stupid redneck" mood and in unison with my friend we replied with a passing "Just fuck off dude" and the resulting conversation was as follows:
Douchey guy: "Heya why don't you come back here and say that to my face?"
Myself: (with my back turned still walking): "I would dude but me and my fag buddy are gonna go make out"
Other douche: "One of you is walkin with a limp, what's the matter too much dick up your ass?"
My friend: "Yeah man it was your dad's cock!"
At this point we were pretty much in his car, and pulling out of the parking space when we noticed that one of the lads had taken great offense (perhaps he had just lost a father, but I doubt it) and was trying to chase us down. He got to where we were just turning the car around and began searching around for a garbage bin. He located one, threw the lid off and grabbed an empty water bottle which he threw at my friend's car. It missed sorrowfully.
My friend decided to leave him with one last comment before we left which went something like "We gotta go man, I need some more of your dad's nice thick cock"
As we drove away the boy let out a roar of anger and gave chase but could not run quickly enough to catch our car. I'm still giggling like a stupid little girl about the look on his face.
Oh, so today I found some great condition copies of "News of the World" by Queen, "Who's Next" by The Who, Bad Company's self titled, "Out of the Blue" by ELO and Fragile by Yes amidst the typical collection of crappy gospel records at the Salvation Army Store. Only $1 a piece!